A Child Can Hear You

After many  years of looking after children I was reminded today of the importance of something that comes naturally to me but unfortunately not to some other parents. Talking about your child in front of them. It's just natural for my husband and I to be positive and praising of everything our son does, and careful of the words we use around him. However, there are many parents out there who take it for granted that they can say what they like as their child isn't 'there' anyway. This breaks my heart. Inside every special needs child (and neurotypical) there is a little person. A little person who although they can't communicate the things that are happening (although some are extremely brilliant at echolalia and say everything that you do!) they really do know just what's happening in their world. 



Grown up (or adult) conversations truly need to be child friendly when a child is in the room. And by child friendly I really do mean child friendly. It's perfectly normal to want to talk through things with someone, actually it's recommended, but be careful what you say and how you say it. There's a little person listening to your every word, you are the center of their universe, they trust you in everything, you're their security, their rock..... you are their voice. 



Keep mindful of what you say... every scream your child makes is an attempt to communicate, you will quickly learn as a parent the differences in the pitch and severity and have some idea  what they mean... I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, that's funny, I don't like that. Your child knows so much more than many realise. If your child became verbal for a day please consider whether you would like them to say... 'hey mum (or dad) I love you'... or would you prefer to hear 'the doctor said he would never learn like other kids'...'doing everything for him is too tiring'... 'if I hear that scream one more time then I think I'LL scream!'



Just as you like to hear good things about yourself, your child likes to hear good things too. It isn't easy and there's going to be times when you need to talk freely such as when you're talking with a professional, but in all honesty... your groundwork is what will help your child become who they are meant to be. If you need to vent, then vent, just please, not in front of your child. Think of situations you've been in where you're with a group of people and  you just drifted off into your own world, staring into the distance..... we all do it. We know what's happening around us and our minds will tune into particular people talking without us even realising and then you have someone who jolts you back into reality and you then continue the conversation you were having. Your child would love to be able to continue that conversation with you, let's make sure it's with the right words.