As much as we wish, as much as we hope; the day will come when you ask yourself this question. With some, it’s true, they really have gone. For whatever reason, they’ve decided not to be a part of your lives anymore and they leave. For some, it’s simply a case of not knowing how to talk with you about your child’s diagnosis, for some it’s because they have trouble understanding the things your child does on a daily basis. Some are scared too… scared that their child/children will ‘catch the diagnosis’. Some find the actions of your child too confronting to understand. Some are full of advice on how you should be raising your child and will walk away because they feel you haven’t listened. Yes, that will all happen. You’re going to hear all the excuses in the book as to why a get together can’t take place; you’ll even be guilty of making a few yourselves!



You know what else will happen? You’ll push people away. Your life is going to be so involved with making sure that your child has the best of treatments available, the best ideas available and sometimes it’ll be simply that you’re so damn tired you just couldn’t be bothered getting out of your trackies and it’s easier to stay at home in your child’s secure place where it doesn’t matter if they go into meltdown and break a chair (or worse)… because hey... it’s yours, who cares? Chairs are a dime a dozen in the cheap shops. You’re going to get to a point of not knowing how to talk about anything other than autism. Your previous life will seem a million miles away and belonging to someone else... or will it? Only you will know just how much of everything I’ve said will happen. You can always expect to lose someone from your life once you’re told your child is on the spectrum and some of those people are going to shock and appall you because you believed that you had a better relationship than that... but rest assured… they will be replaced by others. Others, who will show you that your faith in humanity deserves to be kept in your special place, will surprise you as to how often their shoulder is offered. Just don’t forget to look at the people already around you though. Some of your friends are waiting in the wings for you to call. You do have friends, real ones, when you’re ready to find them.



What you’re feeling is normal… normal in every sense of the word. You are not alone in your feelings; you’re not alone in your battle. You have control over your life, not on other people. You can’t be everything to every one, nor they you. You won’t ever have all the answers but you can answer the questions you know and understand. It’s normal to go on the defensive and be careful of everyone and everything… normal!!!

Human nature is human nature. Unfortunately your child will never have complete acceptance in this world and at times you’ll cry rivers because of it. All you can do is become the best parent you can be and show everyone else’s child the same acceptance that you want for your own child. The only way to start acceptance in any form is to lead by example. You can do that can’t you?