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One of the biggest misconceptions of Autism is that every child and adult is just like Rainman who was a sufferer of Savant Syndrome. It’s also one of the most disheartening for parents to deal with on a daily basis. In the beauty of stories like Rainman the truths of Autism has been lost to the general public.
 
“Autism… that’s like Rainman isn’t it?”  No it isn’t! Not by a long long way!
 
Living with a child on the spectrum can be a huge battle from day to day for many parents. Children are expected to be absolutely brilliant in all areas of learning. For some, there are things that come very easily to them but for others the simple art of learning is anything but simple. Society has built up a whole group of ideas regarding autism and what a child should be and when a family has a confirmed diagnosis within it there is sometimes a confusion that their child doesn’t ‘fit the mould’… nor should they.

Your family is your family. Just like the neighbours, just like the family up the street. No two families are the same, just as no two people are the same and very much just like no two children are the same. Every child learns on different levels. Some excel, some don’t. Beating ourselves up because of societies ideas as to what autism means takes away from the strengths our children do have.
 
Expecting your child to become as society wishes them to be is setting yourself and your child up to be a very quick and totally screeching failure. You’re not the same as the rest of the population so why expect your child to be the same as every other autistic? But you know what’s the same? The struggles. Every child on the spectrum struggles in one form or another, that’s completely normal! Just like all the other children in the world who excel in something but fail in others, children on the spectrum are very much the same.
 
Don’t beat yourself up because your child has trouble learning, they’ll learn in a different way. Don’t beat yourself up because Great Aunt Martha says they should be doing this or that. Your child is YOUR child. It’s ok for them to take the time needed to learn, they have autism, it takes time! It can also take a lot of tears and screams and why’s. All that is normal!

Depending on the research conducted there are some researchers who say that the prevalence of savant syndrome is between 1% and 10%. When you look at the statistics according to Raising Children Network that show that in 2009 in Australia over 42,000 children up to the age of 14 years were diagnosed as being on the spectrum… that leaves an awful lot who aren’t! Society has a lot to answer to in expecting your child to be something that they’re not and in many cases they simply don’t have the ability to become something they're not and should be accepted for the abilities they have and not those that are believed they should have.
 
Your child will never be just like a child who isn’t on the spectrum. But let’s look at them; do YOU have the same brain power as the person in your class who always got A’s??? Or if you were the one who got A’s did you find that all the other children in your classes did as well? Of course not! You all learnt at your own level and in your own way. Did you learn everything exactly the same way as the child sitting next to you? There’s no point in teaching a ‘normal’ child with visual aids when they learn from regular teaching ideas. You use the best teaching system for the child that you’re teaching using their strengths to teach them and that’s where society has failed many times with autism by trying to put all our children into the same box.

Take pride in your child for the achievements they make, take pride in the fact they tried even if they seem to fail. Accept that there will be successes and there will be failures. You are the parent of a beautiful child who will teach you a new and exciting way to look at the world. Accept the good and the bad and your life will change for the better in so many ways. You don’t need to live up to the expectations that society places on you, after all, what advice would you give someone who said they were expected to behave a certain way?



I asked my ever so gorgeous autie parent friends if they felt their child was Rainman. Rather than ask them to 'bare all' I asked them a series of questions in which they could choose where they felt their child was at this time. If at this point you still believe that Autism means Rainman then the answers will surprise you. 



This is done in by numbers answering (I know who they are, they know who they are). Twelve questions and if you understand facebook then you will understand the whole like system to get the numbers you will see below. 



1. My child is a genius! -- 0 likes



2. My child copes really well with school work with a little help and guidance. -- 0 likes



3. My child has to be helped on a regular basis.  -- 12 likes



4. My child cannot work on his or her own and is in constant need of help. -- 9 likes



5. My child is great with the things he/she likes but struggles mostly with day to day routines. -- 11 likes



6. My child has trouble understanding new situations and needs to be prepared step by step for any and all changes. -- 14 likes



7. My child has trouble understanding much of what I'm saying. -- 5 likes



8. My child is great at communicating with me using other means such as an ipad, computer, PECS, sign language. -- 3 likes



9. My child has a special interest that he/she can and does do to perfection each and every time. -- 5 likes



10.  My child cannot concentrate on any one thing for more than a few minutes. -- 12 likes



11. My child is completely dependent on me for his/her every need and want. -- 9 likes



12.  My child shows so much promise in many things that the big things are made easier to cope with. -- 1 like.



As you can see by these numbers, Rainman is his own person, just as your child is his or her own person. Unreal expectations of your child's abilities is only going to make the struggles of the future harder than they seem now. Many things in  your life will be a struggle, don't make it harder than it needs to be.